Tag: distortion

experimenting with images and text, book making, layers of meaning

I’m continuing to experiment with putting/printing my photos onto paper and adding handwritten text. I’m going to scan the pages, print them, add more layers of images and text, scan them again, print them again, see what that does. I’m going to try printing directly onto grid or lined paper from from notebooks like the one below, instead of just onto regular white copy paper. I want to create a book to present images of most of the self-portraits from this project, along with the text taken from the OnlyFans captions.

I like taking the captions and writing them by hand, breaking them up and singling out certain words or building upon them with new words. I’ve also been physically cutting up some of the paper that I’ve written text on to, which distorts things a little and offers additional layers of meaning. I like the physical element of this way of making. As in, I could create layers of text/images digitally but I like doing it by hand, the writing and cutting up and scanning and printing.

silhouette self-portraits

I made these self-portraits yesterday in a kind of accidental way. I was getting changed to take some of my usual self-portraits and I noticed the silhouette of my body on the wall in the light and took these.

I like experimenting with ways to subtly distort or strain my body in my photos, usually I do that by physically putting myself in certain positions. With these, I didn’t have to really do anything strenuous with my body, the shadow and light distorted things and created a strangeness naturally.

reflecting on the self-portrait process

Over yesterday afternoon, evening and this morning I made around 40 photos and videos.

Here are two of the new stills and one video.

How does my process usually work at the moment?

  • I find myself with some time or set aside time to take some portraits. I’ve found I need at least 60-90 minutes of uninterrupted time to be able to create the bare minimum, i.e. set up a space how I want it, set up computer/phone/tripod, experiment with angles and poses, in order to come away with at least two or three that I’m happy with. My ideal is to work for several hours at a time with short breaks.

  • I go into the photo shoot with an idea of a particular pose I want to work with or some kind of image I want to try and create. I experiment with how to capture what’s in my mind. For example in the still images above my main focus was distortion of the body. I will start with a particular pose, look back at images to see how it’s working and go from there. Often I feel frustrated and end up trying things I hadn’t planned. Sometimes a pose will work really well in one take. Other times I will look back at the photo and retake it with tiny adjustments until it’s right.

  • I try to think about a “body of work”, the body “working”. At the moment this is manifesting in the way I’m trying to physically manipulate my body to create compelling or unnatural poses, so that the “work” my body is doing is physical, corporeal.

  • I get a feeling of satisfaction that tells me when a photo is “right”.

  • I usually edit the photos and videos quite quickly after taking them. I like to work in concentrated bursts. So I’ll do a lot of frantic editing and then later will go over it all again before moving finished items to a “to post” folder on my laptop.

  • I don’t think I’ve written about this yet on the blog or if I have I haven’t gone into detail. I take all the photos with my iPhone and all the videos with my MacBook. I love using default, rudimentary lo-fi technology. One day I might move away from this, but the fascination is still with me for now. I like using the cameras that come with the devices I already own. It’s simple and affordable. I like being able to take a photo with my iPhone, edit it with my iPhone, upload it to OnlyFans or Instagram with my iPhone. I like the way it looks, always a little hazy.

  • After I finish a shoot I feel good but kind of all over the place. Inspired, confused, emotional, tired.

How could my process be improved?

  • Fewer shoots that last a longer time. I like being able to settle into it, take short breaks, create a lot of work at once. This is preferable to doing short shoots more often. It’s difficult to find long periods of free time, but if I plan ahead more it’s achievable.

  • Abandon judgement and self-consciousness. I feel fairly free when I’m making this work but I’m still “watching myself” as I’m doing it. It’s important to remember that no one has to see any of the work unless I choose, so if I try things and they don’t work and I feel embarrassed it doesn’t actually matter.

  • Organisation. I think I work consistently and diligently but I’ve been a bit chaotic during this project when it comes to saving and storing and organising files. As mentioned, I have a folder on my laptop where I put “to post” content so that when I want to share on OnlyFans I can go to that folder. Once something is posted I move it to a “posted” folder. But different edited versions of the to post or posted images are all over my phone or laptop desktop or photos apps. The video footage is poorly organised in iMovie. I think more discipline in saving files logically in easy to access places and backing things up more diligently would be useful.