![](https://hollyebrindley.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/img_8630.jpg?w=768)
I recently read Girl Online by Joanna Walsh. It was published in 2022. I don’t have the energy to write much about it, I’m just going to include this photo of a part that I really liked and related to and felt moved by:
![](https://hollyebrindley.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/06/img_8605.jpg?w=768)
Central Saint Martins MA Fine Art: Digital – Reflective Blog
I recently read Girl Online by Joanna Walsh. It was published in 2022. I don’t have the energy to write much about it, I’m just going to include this photo of a part that I really liked and related to and felt moved by:
I recently finished this book by Frances Borzello, who also wrote The Naked Nude which I wrote about here and here. Seeing Ourselves provides some (euro-centric) history of and commentary on women’s self-portraits from the 16th-21st century. It was first published in 1998 and was revised and expanded in 2016.
Some quotes, notes and thoughts:
I made these self-portraits yesterday in a kind of accidental way. I was getting changed to take some of my usual self-portraits and I noticed the silhouette of my body on the wall in the light and took these.
I like experimenting with ways to subtly distort or strain my body in my photos, usually I do that by physically putting myself in certain positions. With these, I didn’t have to really do anything strenuous with my body, the shadow and light distorted things and created a strangeness naturally.
This is what I wrote in a previous post.
Further thoughts.
Not long after I wrote the above, I opened Ways of Seeing by John Berger to a random page and read a little, including these parts:
… the social presence of a woman is different in kind from that of a man. A man’s presence is dependent upon the promise of power which he embodies. If the promise is large and credible his presence is striking. If it small or incredible, he is found to have little presence. The promised power may be moral, physical, temperamental, economic, social, sexual – but its object is always exterior to the man. A man’s presence suggests what he is capable of doing to you or for you. His presence may be fabricated, in the sene that he pretends to be capable of what he is not. But the pretence is always towards a power which he exercises.
By contrast, a woman’s presence expresses her own attitude to herself, and defines what can and cannot be done to her. Her presence is manifest in her gestures, voice, opinions, expressions, clothes, chosen surroundings, taste – indeed there is nothing she can do which does not contribute to her presence. Presence for a woman is so intrinsic to her person that men tend to think of it as an almost physical emanation, a kind of heat or smell or aura.
To be born a woman has been to be born, within an allotted and confined space, into the keeping of men. The social presence of women has developed as a result of their ingenuity in living under such tutelage within such a limited space. But this has been at the cost of a woman’s self being split into two. A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself. Whilst she is walking across a room or whilst she is weeping at the death of her father, she can scarcely avoid envisaging herself walking or weeping. From earliest childhood she has been taught and persuaded to survey herself continually.
Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at. This determines not only most relations between men and women but also the relations of women to themselves. The surveyor of woman in herself is male: the surveyed female. Thus she turns herself into an object – and most particularly an object of vision: a sight.
The mirror was often used as a symbol of the vanity of women. The moralizing, however, was mostly hypocritical. You painted a naked woman because you enjoyed looking at her, you put a mirror in her hand and you called the paining Vanity, thus morally condemning the woman whose nakedness you had depicted for your own pleasure. The real function of the mirror was otherwise. It was to make the woman connive in treating herself as, first and foremost, a sight.
I’ve known for a long time that I’m interested in capturing the self, performing the self, capturing the capturing of the self, capturing the watching of the self etc. etc. And I’m drawn to other artists who do this, especially women artists. I wrote this about Francesca Woodman’s work in a previous post: She both captured herself and captured herself capturing herself, or interacting with herself, like in the images in which she’s interacting with a mirror or the one where she has created an image of her own shadow on the ground while she sits in her chair. I also like to capture myself capturing myself. Many of her images contain a doubling up of her own self.
I’m trying to consider deeply and specifically about why I’m interested in all of this and I think I’ve felt a frustration lately about the why. I know that the why is to do with this: A woman must continually watch herself. She is almost continually accompanied by her own image of herself. This sensation is ingrained within me and very familiar to me and I’m continually fascinated by it. I guess I’m trying to figure out how I can channel that fascination into my practice to create something that is formally inventive. I know I can’t figure that out with only thinking, so I’ll be taking some more self-portraits today and then I’ll reflect more on how I feel about them.